Saturday, July 07, 2007


I didn't sleep enough last night. Normally it would be a reason to complain, but I won't do that.
It was a NIGHT. And after that night there was a DAY. Great night followed by not less great day.
Living a day, after restlessly spent night time, triggers lots of thoughts. Somehow it opens a secret door to understanding. Almost like being under a drug influence.
I understood many things. Obvious things that I don't usually pay attention to, because I take them for granted. Understanding them came to me this evening, which went differently from planned. Unaccomplished plans aren't the reason to get idle - what comes into a void is a new chain of events, that leads to the future. Nothing lost, nothing wasted, even if it seems to be so.
So, I'm sitting here, watching a film of today's events. It's passing before my eyes.
It shocked me again how little control I have over some things. I understood that this lack of control makes no difference to me and at the same time turns my life upside down.
Whatever happens always happens for a reason. Even the smallest fact that seems to be unimportant is a part of a bigger picture.
I'm afraid to go to sleep. I don't want to miss a thing.