Sunday, October 23, 2005


Hot. I increased the power of the fan finishing my second glass of water in the last thirty minutes. It got dark, but even the velvety blackness of the night didn`t seem to bring any relief. Sitting by the desk lit only by a fluorescent light of the computer screen I could hear a humming sound of an air conditioning in the neighbour`s flat. So quiet.
I was working on my new post when I caught a sight of movement out of the corner of my eye. There was something black on the floor crawling clumsily. Ah, a bat... "Hey little fellow, lost? My flat is the last place you would like to be in. And, by the way, didn`t I see you here two days ago?" I remembered a similar incident that happened recently. Hummmm...
Some new idea came to my mind and ignoring the bat I returned to the computer to feed it with fresh thoughts. For some time I was completely absorbed by my work forgetting completely the world around. Having finished typing I stood up with the intention of bringing another glass of water and then I fell back on my chair surprised with the view of the bat. He was still there cuddling his wings close to his small black body. A mouse with wings. Very black, very misterious.
"It`s high time I set you free" I thought.
"Not to worry!" I heard suddenly "I`m here because of my own will".
Wow! Now I was completely incapable of lifting myself from the chair. "Am I getting crazy? Too much work? Hunted house?" Thoughts were running through my mind.
"Listen" I heard again "Get a grip. It`s me, the black mouse with wings..." sarcastic sigh got into my ears. "By the way - I didn`t deserve to be insulted."
I was staring at my guest with disbelief. That`s a bit too much for me. A bat talking and reading my mind? Me considering the idea of hearing it and the will to respond? That`s not what I had in mind staying home alone to let my imagination work on some new ideas. The last thing I would do was talking to a bat! How ridiculous it sounded, anyway. But there he was. Almost still, black spot on the floor. I was about to say something but I gave up. My brain was like a big hard knot, completely flabergasted at the happening situation. For some time none of us made a sound. He, not sure whether speaking to me was a good idea and I, not sure of my sanity.
It was him who decided to break the silence. "I`m going to tell you something, but don`t rack your brain too much on it, ok? Keep your mind open". He moved a bit forward. "The bat is just a form I took. It`s me, well... you... Huh...What I really want to say - I am you in another parallel world."
It took me about few minutes to digest the speech and decide whether I should react or ignore what was happening. As crazy as I could be I finally managed to say something. " Ok, you are me. I am a bat in a parallel world."
" Not exactly. I am you , you are not a bat. I couldn`t just appear in my own shape here, first of all, not to scare you to death, second of all because to cross the parallel world I had to be smaller. A bat is a perfect disguise, isn`t it?" He looked at me obviously proud of himself. "But why are you here? What are you doing there? How come there is another world?" The questions poured out of my mouth.
"Well, I can`t tell you too much, but... I`ve been coming here already few times to see you. I picked some sadness that you`ve been feeling. It usually doesn`t happen, but there`s some strong connection between us. Something must have happened between the worlds and there have been cracks allowing our two forms connect mentally. All what you feel is a part of my feelings too. I wanted to talk to you about it before, but you were never alone."
"Yeah" I admitted sadly "Never alone. So, go on..."
"My dear, your feelings are... hummm... influencing me too much. I have no reason to feel miserable, but now thanks to you, I do. I know, it`s not what I feel, they are your feelings, but it is strong enough to bother me."
"Ow, I`m sorry. I had no intention to butt in the way you feel. You know, it`s not up to me after all. I want to be happy, it`s just... the circumstances aren`t making it easy." I started getting used to the idea of talking to the bat. At the end of the day, there are things that philosophers didn`t dream about.
"Listen, happiness is not only what you receive. It`s what you believe in, what you have to look for too. There are no good Samaritans in any world - not even in mine. Nobody here or there lives just with a purpose of making others happy. You have to understand, this feeling is a state of mind. Your mind that you`re in control of. You have to go after what makes you feel happy. Nobody will give it to you prepared and packed nicely like a christmas present. Learn how to look at things, appreciate what you have around and if it still doesn`t satisfy you - look for things that do. Try to get them and once you do, make sure you`ll never let them go."
The bat got silent, as if giving me time to chew on what he said. Was I that passive? Living and expecting things to happen? Waiting for the happiness to come and knock on my door? Such a simple and obvious truth.
"There are good Samaritans" I thought looking at the bat. " He came to me just to make me realize that simple fact."
My guest looked at me, smirked and said " By the way, talking to you wasn`t the main reason of coming here. Do you think there would be a chance for me to check my mail?"

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Fallen Angel

Photo by Agata Zgarda.

Fallen angel - an angel who rebelled against God and was cast out of heaven. (babylon dictionary)

Angels stay in heaven, demons stay in hell. Between, there is a space that belongs to fallen angels. Our reality.

There are various myths explaining the fall of angels, but most of them are based on claim that angels had their free will, they felt desire, pride, and didn`t understand the actions of God.

Orygenes from Alexandria, one of the fathers of Christian Church believed that God created all angels equal and free. However gifted with free will some of angels started abandoning God`s legions on their own choice. Some angels stayed with God, some of them turned into humans and some of them became demons, part of hell, fallen angels.

There is another myth. Once, some of angels, powerful and heartless machines programmed to assist and protect humans, fell in love with their protegees . They got sick . The only way to cure them was to implant a heart into their bodies. Equipped with a heart, they lost their powers, their perfection of good-doers. They were casted out of heaven, there was no space for them anymore.

Fallen angels are among us, looking for their rights to be happy, to experience life, love and also to give love. Going after it, they commit mistakes, get out of track, break divine laws. They still pursue their good-doing mission. This time, however, in their own desperate way, that often crosses the evil zone.

It`s fallen angel that is real, humane, it`s him who teaches us how to go through the maze of life taking the best of it. To find a fallen fellow you need to see him first, and only the gifted ones posses this ability. This may happen anywhere, in a supermarket, in a crowded bus, or you just bump into one in the least expected place. It is them, however, who choose you and let themselves be seen, come around to complement you and at the same time fulfill their existance.

One must not condemn fallen agels for their dids, their sinful existence. One must not forget - they are fallen, but still angels. Orygenes said that there is possibility for people to turn into angels. Even demons can go back to their original angellic state.

(Author`s note: This text has, by no means, implication in the Bible.)

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Pandora`s box.

Photo by Agata Zgarda.

Pandora was a woman whose innate curiosity got her into a great ordeal. Once given a box, she couldn`t resist opening it, even though the gods warned her. Together with easing her curiosity she brought herself a great collection of plagues. The whole humankind was invited to join her in facing the misery.

Nowadays Pandora is a wicked woman leaving her boxes everywhere. Boxes that you keep tripping on all the time. We all live on a huge minefield of Pandora`s gifts on each step. No way to avoid them. No matter how high or how far you jump, sooner or later you are prone to land on one.

Trying not to move, staying hidden isn`t a solution here. Pandora`s clones are ubiquitous and they rich you even at far end of the globe. On some idle day they will just knock on your door bestowing you with their gift. Imagine your life stuck in one place restricted by fear. A nightmare worse than the one in which you fall from a high building.

Other solution to be taken into considration might be avoiding confrontation with any form of life passing by. Living a life of recluse. Brrr... Scary.

You may also try plunging into a crowd hoping not to be noticed among others. Well, the lightning strikes sometimes twice at the same place.

Problems are inevitable. Bastards born of unknown fathers, spreading through the world with frightening speed. They live their own life and at the same time they are undeniably a part of your life. The one and only way to deal with them is to face them, when they come over.

Pandora leaves her boxes sometimes on purpose. They are ambiguous - make our life difficult and at the same time enrich us with experiences, so let`s make use of that gift.
Get a grip. Accept the present and use it as a tool to improve your life. And don`t forget - in Pandoras box, there was one good thing among all the evil ones - hope.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Modern drug

Photo by Agata Zgarda.

Tu, tu, ta, tra, la, la... Much distorted version of a trendy melody is heard. Everybody pats their pockets looking for mobile. "Is it mine? Ow, no, false alarm". Wasted moment of anxiety.
Splashhhhhh... Somebody flushed the toilet. "Hi! I'm fine! I was just thinking about you...".

The toilet doors swing open and a young person with a telephone stuck to their ear emerges from the loo.

How can they stand that? Isn't there enough slavery in the world? We are already slaves of convention, time, obligation and no idea what else, so what the heck! Let's employ one more stone to complete the package, to keep us down to earth.

Mobile - life saver. Mobile - people finder. Mobile - agenda. One must admit, there are advantages of taking on a little bit of that slavery, but sleeping with it, eating with it, taking it even to the toilet... Letting it monopolize your life... Too much for me.

Just have a close look at what happens . Leave your house without mobile and realize that fact far from home. Take it with you and then lose it. Keep it fully dressed, decorated with small gadgets and then drop it and destroy completely losing all your data. Heh... Hurts, doesn't it? Your best friend has just died.

The mobile phone companies set off a race of equiping that small device with miraculous functions to make us more dependent on it. Having that piece of wonder is like having an attachment to your body. It becomes indispensable, turns into a parasite feeding on you, sucking your pocket and at the same time stuffing it, addicting you heavily.

Soon, in the fast developing era of genetic engineering, we`ll be born with mobile built-in. That`s a relief, isn`t it?

Friday, October 14, 2005


Photo by Agata Zgarda.

Ever seen a day-dreamer? A person staring at something without recognition, without comprehension, without any goal at all? Person not noticing the shape nor the movement? You have found a lucky one. One that knows how to switch themselves off, escape into a wider, more colorful world of fantasy.

Day-dreaming is one of natural gifts that homo sapiens posseses. The base for creativity and what follows it - development. Why is it so often being knocked out of someone when they are young? Mediocre population doesn`t accept differences, being creative, being introspective is feared by them. One is afraid of unknown, so let`s better pull it out with roots when it starts flourishing.

World is galloping to an end thanks to dream killers. They produce children supressing their creative flair just to fit flat thinking society. The vicious circle is being created when the generations continue the race to conformity.

Being different is not a crime. Let`s not bring it to a halt, let`s celebrate our differences. Often escapes into a day-dream are the way out, the gate to new world, our salvation. Let`s dream and give others a space to dream.